recovery

It's Sunday, surgery was Tuesday. I came home on Wednesday night, Tuesday night in the hospital was probably the worst, more because of floor care screw ups than the surgery itself. Wednesday night difficult time getting comfortable, realized on Thursday from the visiting nurse that I was using the wrong kind of catheter bag for sleeping - correct bag all is well. Most of the discomfort so far is associated with the catheter, since it was a robotic procedure there is not a huge scar so all of the healing is around four very small and one larger incision. Worst pain is as if I was poked with a stick.
All and all this was not a big deal pain wise. I am weak, walking a half block, I'm done. I think most difficulty in the last few days was a result of the anesthesia, I was pretty dopey and it was hard to concentrate, composing something like email was almost impossible. More later.

Just got the call from the hospital, be there at 6 AM - ugh. Spent the day paying bills, grabbing phone numbers, anything I might need if I'm in beyond a day. The prep isn't fun but I'm sure it wont be the least fun I'll have in the coming weeks.

20 hours

Today is liquid diet day. Although the diet has nothing to do with it, I am pretty anxious - don't know if it's anxious as in fear or anxious as in let's get this goddamned thing over but fear does play some role. Lot's of snow last night, glad I didn't have this scheduled for today.

36 hours and counting

Sometime on Tuesday morning, I'm going in for a robotic prostatectomy. That sounds pretty cold. There's obviously all of the side effect concerns. Mostly, as a very active man, I'm concerned about being weak and incapacitated. I know that considering the alternative that sounds pretty trivial but it isn't. Up until now I've been able to avoid the label of old man - to my face anyway. If I'm hobbling, can't get up, play with my kids, work exercise, make love to my wife, I'm going to feel ancient.
So while everyone else is worried about recurring cancer, incontinence, etc. I'm worried about feeling ancient. It does sound trivial in the grand order of things but the hardest to deal with are not necessarily logical.
The irony, as most know - early on there are no symptoms, I feel fine. So I'm not looking forward to pain, catheter etc. I wish this thing had a spell checker. Oh it does, I'm new to this site. CATHETER is giving me nightmares.
If anyone reads this, I'm happy to keep up the chatter as I go forward but mostly I'm doing it to just get some of this stuff off of my chest. Believe me, I've spent plenty of time in research, interviewing the surgeon, others who have had robotic and other forms of treatment. I know what I'm getting into, I'm just not happy about it and I really don't feel like laying any of this on my family who is already anxious.
Oh BTW, I'm not really good at being sick and taking it easy. More later.